Cooper: If I’m abducted by aliens, will they speak English?
Alvin: From what I gather, they communicate telepathically.
Cooper: So they’ll be able to read my mind?
Alvin: Yes.
Cooper: I don’t think I’m prepared for that level of radical intimacy!
Cooper: Greetings young whipper-snappers!
Sean: Cooper, that fake beard isn’t fooling anyone.
Cooper: You should respect your elders, I fought in ‘Nam!
Sean: Go home and change.
Cooper: I was on LSD dancing half-naked at Woodstock!
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Sadie: Alvin, what are you supposed to be?
Alvin: I’m Albert Einstein, the greatest mind who ever lived!
Sadie: Isn’t he the lunatic who invented the atomic bomb?
Alvin: He never intended for his research to be used to create a weapon.
Sadie: If he was so smart he should’ve known better!
Alvin: Sadie, the man was trying to unlock the secrets of the universe.
Sadie: So he was just playing around with numbers and accidentally blew up Nagasaki?
Alvin: In the pursuit of progress sometimes mistakes are made!
Sadie: You and your fellow geeks are a menace to society and need to be stopped!
Alvin: Maybe you need to fly into the woods and cook up a chill pill potion in your cauldron!
Sadie: I’M NEVER TRICK-OR-TREATING WITH YOU EVER AGAIN!
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Sean: Listen to this! “A local chef foraging for mushrooms has gone missing in our forest.”
Sean: The Bigfoot Monster has struck again!
Cooper: But General Sean, there is no evidence of foul play!
Sean: Cooper, how many more fungus hunters have to disappear before you accept we’re at war??
Text of Cartoon
Cooper: Dad’s been playing a lot of polka music on his accordion lately.
Cooper: It started after Mom threw out his beloved taxidermy weasel.
Cooper: I’m not sure if he’s grieving or trying to annoy her.
Cooper: Anyway, that’s why I’ve had “Who Stole the Kishka?” stuck in my head for three days!
